@bearactive 2 years, 3 months ago
This week I relearned how important slack time outside around kids is.
I accomplished the most today when I set an intention to go to the park. I didn’t know exactly what I would do there, I just knew I really […]
to build a tiny house
a house that’s very small
I want a house shaped like an egg
with white and earthen walls
I want a mattress on the floor
I want a desk to think
I want a […]
from Norwegian Government Report’s Conclusion:
“The smaller the difference between the inside and outside of the prison, the easier the transition from prison to freedom.”
So, maybe, an imaginary Norwegian report on education would Conclude with:
“The smaller the difference between the inside and outside of school, the easier the transition…[Read more]
bear wrote a new post, Activism and Overwork: Contemporary Idealist Violence, on the site Bear 4 years, 10 months ago
I went to a peace activism seminar today, and this quote was passed out. It struck me deeply.
The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow […]
I got some great feedback this week.
I came into the city this week to substitute for Ryan while he went to EXALT with Alex in Puerto Rico. I came to ALC NYC as I usually do. I came in stoked.
I come to the […]
I love the flavor of the world
when Winter sings her last
and quietly, with little steps
Spring warms through cold’s arrest
And outside, outside, outside
my soft sallow body goes!
To breathe the air
<p style="text-align: […]
Please enjoy this list of things that I feel great about that happened this week:
An all day road trip to buy 60 lbs of beeswax
I have a lot of strong opinions. Like, really strong opinions that I have thought about a lot, researched intensely, experienced deeply, and observed thoroughly. These strong opinions influence the way that I see […]
I brought back a few drums from Uganda
A couple of them have a seed locked inside forever
it jangles around in there when you play
they call it the heart of the drum
I have some severe resistances and […]
Awesome Izzy! I do Toats owe you One. Where did you walk two miles to barefooot?!
things happen in this work that i wish to write about.
i do not write about them,
though I want to.
i want to tell you about my most precious moments.
when all my thoughts, and feelings, and fears, and […]
I asked Milo for a prompt, and he said:
What would a day in your personal utopia be for you?
I said “thank you.”
The following does not represent a day in my personal utopia, but a week.
I do know that this week I started casting little wax sculptures of myself with a mold I made six years ago. I started drawing pictures and comics of a character named Morvin. I worked on the Cloudhouse site a bunch, staying up until 2:00 AM on it last night. I got clearer about my commitment to integrity, trust in self directed learning, and non-attachment. I spent a whole cloudhouse day playing minecraft. I read more about the world-changing power of video games and games in general. I went for a walk to practice E-prime. I shoveled snow in my underwear at midnight (I wore gloves and boots, because it seemed unwise not to). I assembled a playlist of NPR tiny desk concerts for Lily. I participated in two change-up meetings that seemed to move things in new ways in Cloudhouse (having @timotree here made an enormous different). I talked to my Dad about my grandma’s passing. I spoke with Twaif about his struggle to get an ALC started in his Village in Kayunga, Uganda.
I live in a utopia already, and I still find myself getting slurchy, and grungky, and glum! What the heck?!
How, with all this exactly perfect stuff, can I not in awe of everything all the time?
I don’t know!
A day in my personal utopia would look like any day in my personal utopia. I would just stay present to the Mystery the whole time.
Starting next Saturday I will take a silent week so I have to stay a little more present to the mystery by not blabbing about it so much!
love, foolish love, Love,
A lot happened this week. My friend Raine Sillito who I met at my first AERO Conference three and a half years ago came down to visit Cloudhouse for the week, and joined us on a trip to Agile NYC.
We had a full […]
The temperature hovered around zero all week, and Lily and I spent anywhere from half an hour to an hour outside each day. We missed one. I did a whole host of other things; administrative, creative, studious, teachery.
As I sit here at the end of the week, looking at a huge pile of things in the big, messy done section (it will have more order next week), the things that stand out to me as the most valuable were the times that Lily and I went outside.
We’ve gone outside a lot this year, but just before the break we went outside after about a week of staying in. We bounded around, every few moments, calling one another over to some new frozen wonder, before splitting off (staying within earshot) and exploring more. We almost didn’t go outside this day, because it felt too cold.
After a while I said to that I felt so good, and that I couldn’t think of a time that I went outside, just to spend time outside, that I didn’t feel so glad that I did! Lily wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment. We set an intention to go outside together every day.
We’ve done pretty good with it, I think we’ve missed two days since then.
I want to start setting myself up to spend more and more time outside.
As I sit here holding everyone to their agreement to engage in the reflective cycle, quite frankly, don’t really know what the heck to write about myself. I want their posts to mean something to them, and a want them to articulate the value in their experience, using the documentation we’ve accumulated during the week to express the value in their experience. Looking at my own week, through the lense of this moment, the thing that seems like I used my life more fully was when I spent time playing outside. I can identify with Milo and Jesse’s hesitation to commit to something, because they don’t want to deal with failing in their commitment, because I don’t want to say, publicly, that I will spend more time outside, and then not do it, and then feel like a liar-liar earthlover-pants-on-fire.
But I do want to spend more time outside. And I have nothing stopping me from doing that. In fact, I have soooo much in support of my doing it! I live in an ecovillage! I have a kid who will always (almost always) say “YES” to going outside, I have an extraordinary amount of freedom with my time and life energy. I have designed a spectacular life/lifestyle around the importance of getting outside and connecting with Her. And I don’t do it very much. I spend way, way more time on the computer than I do on the soil. And I don’t want to admit it. I don’t want to say it. I want to see myself in a way that does not force me to acknowledge the places wherein I am out of my integrity.
Saying that I want to spend more time outside acknowledges the failure in my integrity to live the way I have committed to. Where else have I fallen out of my integrity?*
Even when I step outside for a moment it feels tottally worth it, magical, and healing. I remember what is important in an silent flash of the absolute assurance of my insignificance.
I just stepped outside.
When I came back in Lily asked, “why’dya go out there?”
“Just to remember how much I love going out there.”
* : )
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